Mental Illness and Mental Health / The Fellowship of the Baccalaureate

2013, so far

TRIGGER WARNING: depression, suicide, self-harm, university and student loan bullshit, anxiety This has not been a good year. I’m not wallowing in drama; I’m stating a fact. This year started out with a week of depression, anxiety attacks, and severe suicidal thoughts. It’s gotten a bit better, but I’ve still be battling the mother of all depressive episodes for the past 3 weeks. I’ve wanted to cut again. I’ve thought about taking up smoking. I’ve pictured hanging myself or blowing my brains out. I’ve even considered od’ing on my antidepressants, which I haven’t been able to take since December

dispatches from the loony bin / Mental Illness and Mental Health

“Beauty Regimen”

I hate that term. Beauty regimen. I know where it [ostensibly] comes from: the use of ‘beauty’ products in a routine; on a daily basis. (This, of course, isn’t a precise use of the word regimen, which specifically refers to (among other things) a routine that contributes to one’s health. Health, as you know, is not the same thing as appearance.) It starts from an assumption that we need those products in order to be beautiful. That our daily routine of moisturizer, eye cream, toner, eye shadow, lip gloss, whatever, makes us beautiful. That the end goal of using these

dispatches from the loony bin / Mental Illness and Mental Health

This is Rape Culture — addendum to my Amanda Todd post

Trigger warning: description of rape, rape culture, misogyny, bullying, suicide Something I didn’t really get into in my last post about Amanda Todd’s suicide is the misogyny, sexism, and clear and present rape culture apparent in the details of the case. I did originally write about it in my post, but decided I wanted to focus on suicide and not misogyny in that post, and that I could write a follow-up post later. This is that follow-up post. Most of the posts about Amanda attribute her suicide to bullying and tend to ignore the fact that it was more

dispatches from the loony bin / Mental Illness and Mental Health

Bullying and Suicide — Justice for Amanda Todd

Trigger warning. A teenager local to me committed suicide this week. She’d been bullied and stalked and harassed for a few years, and it got to be too much to take. All over one innocuous action, what some may deem a screw-up, that just happened to happen on the internet. You know, kids screw up. They do. When I was 13 I was not being safe on the internet. I wasn’t. I was cyber-sexing with random strangers and telling them…well, not super-personal details, but probably too much. I was also looking at porn and getting malware downloaded to our

Banned Books Week / Mental Illness and Mental Health

Writer Wednesday: 2011 Banned Books Week and full disclosure about my adolescence

September 24th through October 1st is Banned Books Week. Over the years, many books and writers have been banned or challenged — for political reasons or just some vague feeling of “needing to protect the children”. Until this year, I’d never sought to read a banned book. Then I decided I’d try and find one, and saw on the list of top ten challenged books for 2010 were two books I’d already read this week — The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. I’d picked these up because