Delusional Sea Cow Life / Ten Thousand Hours of Procrastination

Ways to sneak having ice cream for breakfast

Throw it in your coffee. It’s cream and sugar, and this is also the easiest way to make a peppermint mocha if you don’t have peppermint syrup but do have mint chocolate chip ice cream. Roll it in corn flakes and call it cereal. An ice cream sandwich totally resembles a breakfast burrito, right? Go with that. Just fucking eat it, because you’re an adult who can make their own food choices without judgy asshats shaming you. And if some judgy asshat does get up in your business, take this blog post, print it out, and papercut them with

Publishing / The Fellowship of the Baccalaureate

I am a waffle, and school has never ironed me

It’s not a perfect metaphor. I’m tired, okay. I’ve been known to waffle about my education. I’ve done everything from Underwater Basket Weaving to Introduction to Finality; from Basic Lupine Urology to Pre-Law. (Yes, two of those are Community episode titles. Guess which ones.) When I finally decided on my BA, I thought I’d reached a point where I wouldn’t waffle anymore. Where I would know what I wanted to study and do it; therefore, choosing my MA should have been easy, right? Wrong. A few months ago I was dead-set on an MFA in Writing and Consciousness from