Not everything is for you: kids and Deadpool

This was originally posted on my Medium profile on February 17th, 2016.

I suppose it was inevitable. People have taken their kids to see Deadpool…and then complained it wasn’t appropriate for kids.

Look. I am the first person to say that the MPAA ratings are bullshit and usually far too puritanical. I believe parents know better than a bunch of film-rating execs what’s appropriate for their kids. What’s more, the MPAA ratings are hopelessly vague. An “R” rating doesn’t tell me if a movie is going to have an animal dying, which will have me more upset than a kid pranked with a fake trip to Disneyland. It doesn’t tell me if there’s going to be a rape or attempted rape scene, which will trigger the fuck out of me. I’ve learned that the best way for me to enjoy movies or TV shows is — if I think there’s a possibility there’s a chance for these things that will really upset me and basically ruin my entire fucking week — ask someone who’s already seen it, or have my husband pre-view it for me so he can warn me, and be on hand for cuddles afterwards if I do, indeed, decide to go through with viewing it.

I grew up watching things that were well “beyond my age”. When I was 10, mom took me to see the Kama Sutra movie in theatres — “Just act like you’re 18!” — because she knew that I could handle a positive portrayal of adult sexuality. And, in fact, probably needed to see a positive portrayal of adult sexuality, seeing as by the age of 10 I had already been assaulted. She was right. The Kama Sutra movie did not scar me (though the “sequel” which was “American tourists rekindle their marriage by exploiting Indian traditions” kind of did).

But that was one of very few positive experiences I had watching things beyond my age when I was very young. I was a really sensitive kid, you see. I’m still sensitive now, but I’ve had to grow an unnaturally thick skin just so I can survive daily life (which is full of people saying I’m too sensitive, a sissy, a coward, a pussy, etc). I was easily scared (still am, and horror is one of my fave film genres) and very empathetic towards suffering seen on screen — especially for animals.

When I was a little kid, my dad showed me Alien and Aliens. I still adore these films, but the truth is they scared the shit out of me when I first saw them. (I mean, duh, they’re scary films.) I was probably way too young to see them whenever I did the first time. I don’t remember how old I was; I just know that the Aliens franchise was part of growing up for me.

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May the Fourth (be with you)

Sometimes I don’t even know my husband anymore, man. Sometimes, I tell ya.

12:45am, May 4th.

Me: I am totally up for watching a Star Wars marathon with you.

Mr. Katje: Maybe not all of them.

Me: It’s not a marathon if we don’t watch all of them.

Mr. Katje: I don’t even think I have 1 2 or 3.

Me: …I said STAR WARS.

Mr. Katje (deciding to fuck with me): I think I’ve got Insurrection around…

Me: …Star. Wars.

Mr. Katje: Or how about Nemesis?

Me: …who the fuck are you?

Sometimes I don’t even know my husband anymore, man. Sometimes, I tell ya. Today I realized he didn’t even know who Ursula K. LeGuin is! Can you imagine?

Joking aside, we are one movie into our marathon now. About to put on Empire. (I’m livetweeting it — view my puerile humour!) The dogs upstairs are going fucking nuts. We find this quite amusing.

May the 4th be with you!


Thoughts on the Robocop Remake

I’d call it disappointing if I’d had any hopes for it in the first place.

There are no spoilers in this post — nothing you wouldn’t know from watching the trailers. But, I’ll put part of it behind a cut anyway.

Our brother in law took us out to see Robocop last night. We weren’t going to see it otherwise; it was definitely something we didn’t want to pay money for.

It wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be. It wasn’t terrible.

It wasn’t awesome, either.

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