Fifty Shades of Drinking is on hiatus until mid to late September

I know, I’m bummed about it too.

Possibly October.

I mean, you guys probably figured that out already — I have a broken leg, therefore no drinking — but I figured I’d make an official announcement.

Theoretically, I could fake being drunk, but where’s the fun in it? And it would just feel wrong. You watch it for off the cuff super drunk Katje being angry and ranty. I can’t fake that genuine anger. It wouldn’t be right.

So until I am healed — which should be late August, meaning I might be ready to drink by mid-September, but we’ll see how it goes — FSOD is on hiatus. I’m very sorry, and trust me, I am not happy about skipping this. The book might make my brain bleed, but doing the series is actually fun and I was looking forward to this month’s episode!

Ah well. Can’t be helped.

However, I might be doing a regular vlog one of these days. Depends on if I can get some proper clothing on myself. I am open to topic suggestions! Leave yours in a comment below.

Until next time,

-Katje

Exciting News!

I’m tipsy because I just filmed *Chapter 5 of Fifty Shades of Drinking*, everyone’s favourite “Katje gets drunk and angry” vlog!

Well, I’m excited. And a little tipsy.

That’s right — I’m tipsy because I just filmed Chapter 5 of Fifty Shades of Drinking, everyone’s favourite “Katje gets drunk and angry” vlog!

Wooooo!

I’ll be editing tomorrow because that great writing advice from Hemingway whom I don’t really like as a writer but some of his quotes are damn awesome, anyway, that advice about writing drunk and editing sober holds so damn true for film, too. Not that a lot of people are filming drunk, so I guess it can’t be widely applied. But in this case, where I am playing a drinking game designed to kill you, it does.

EDIT: I just looked it up apparently the quote isn’t by Hemingway, it’s just attributed to him and is actually a paraphrasing of a quote by Peter De Vries, which now that I’ve read I actually quite like. But Hemingway did say “Fuck literature” so my above comment about liking some of his quotes holds true. Huzzah.

So, I’m editing tomorrow. Tonight I am going to cook dinner and drink a hell of a lot of water to offset the hell of a lot of vodka I consumed during filming. I’ll post the video here when it’s done.

-Katje

Fifty Shades of Drinking update

I am terrible at deadlines, especially self-imposed ones.

I know, I know, I promised another episode early in the new year and I have not delivered. I am terribly sorry about that. However, life has been pretty insane since coming up here to visit my mom, and a few days ago I was put on a run of antibiotics to clear out the infection my wisdom teeth — so I can’t have any alcohol till that’s over, which will be the 23rd or so.

I will get an episode up by the end of the month, I swear. (Or, like, a few minutes after midnight on the first of February.)

Thanks so much for your patience and understanding, y’all, and rest assured I have not abandoned the project. I want to continue to rip apart the books while getting sloshed as much as you want to watch me do it.

Well, I don’t know, maybe bras do bray.

Yesterday I woke up at 6pm. The takeaway from this is that my sleep schedule has been borked. Again.

So, natch, I’m pulling an all-nighter to right it. I have my first volunteer day for VIWF on Thursday. 10 am, Granville Island. I’ll need an hour to drive out there and an hour to get ready in the morning, and I like being early. No time to slowly fix the sleep schedule over 2 weeks, unfortunately. Need to do an urgent patch.

Waking up at 6pm meant I was almost too late for the VanSlam. Luckily, I got in just under the wire and even got to perform. (!!!) I read “Blood Candle”, a poem I wrote a yearish ago and have been sitting on ever since. Video was taken; it will be up at some point in the next week or so, I gather. I don’t think it’ll be a full body shot, so you won’t be able to see the horrendous shaking of my legs. It felt like I was trying to tap-dance.

After Slam I got to hang out with my fabulous friend D., who stepped into the boots of Bellica Yarrow for the cover of Bellica. Yes, that’s a photograph on the cover; everyone is always so surprised with that info. We chatted and she showed me My Drunk Kitchen. I was reminded that I needed to get back to vlogging, so expect to see a video sometime soon. Then I went home at like 2:30 a.m., which is obviously the best time to make the drive from East Van to Coquitlam.

Side note, I just got up in the middle of writing this to go find my video camera. I knew exactly where it was. What I did not realize was that the purple bra I have been looking for was hiding with it. So, hooray. I found my video camera AND my bra. Perhaps in celebration of this fact I shall wear my bra as a hat during my vlog. Also I will stop typing bray instead of bra, forcing myself to constantly delete and fix.

Unrelated to any of this, I am trying to cut sugar out of my diet. This has nothing to do with “eating healthy” or whatever the fuck and everything to do with my wisdom teeth are coming in everything is inflamed sugar makes this worse ow ow ow ow ow please kill me now. Actually, eating anything hurts right now, but sugar is definitely the biggest culprit in worsening my pain levels to the point of “I cannot function, please send copious amounts of alcohol and then leave me to curl up in the snow and die”. Working on seeing a dentist soon. At this point, I’m hoping the teeth are impacted — because in Canada if you need actual surgery to get out wisdom teeth (ie, if they’re impacted), it will be partially or maybe totally covered by healthcare. Or if your teeth have gotten to emergency levels, ie you’ll die without treatment — then you’re covered too. So, you know, that’s completely not at all fucked up in any way. Right? Right.

Anyway, the cutting sugar totally out is not easy and I have been failing miserably. I don’t even eat that much sugar these days, at least not during the week when I’m at my place (there’s a lot of junk food at Ogre’s place, and I have no will power) and still I’m finding it really difficult. I need coffee in the morning, and I really do prefer it sweet. I use honey or agave syrup because white sugar, blech, but that doesn’t matter to my inflamed gums and nerves. Sugar is sugar I guess.

Long story short I’m not sure how to end this blog post so I just keep rambling about things.

 

Apologies for being AWOL

It has been a weird month or so. Very busy, like a bee, if bees are busy. Haven’t had a chance to do any SFFSat, as much because my laptop, where my WIPs reside, has been acting up, as because I’ve been busy. I’m in the process of backing it up and taking it in for repairs; may not see it till Monday. It shall be a very hard time.

Actually, not really — I’m going camping this weekend! So no SFFSat from me this week either.

So, some quick bits of news today, and then I’ll see you all next week.

  • Presenting: Kat & Wolff! This is a new site to showcase my mom and me as a mother-daughter novelist-publisher-poet team, and I’ve worked very hard on it this past week. It’s not totally complete yet, because I’m still waiting on some info from mom, who is having her own computer issues at the moment. But it is definitely ready for some perusing, so why not go show it some love?
  • No real vlog this week; sorry, but with my computer issues I haven’t been able to. I am, however, upgrading my desktop Mac so that I can start to do vlogs on it, too, so I shall have a back up if stuff like this happens again! Or I just may start to do vlogs on my desktop exclusively. Who knows.
  • Bellica website has been updated! This means the chapters that are up are the actual final chapters now, and the site looks nicer. It’s also better designed with regards to marketing, I think, so maybe I’ll get some more sales.
  • Literary+ holy gods, and also the Muses have taken over my brain!

More on Literary+

Literary+ is a writer based project brought together and lead by Shen Hart. It brings together passionate, quality self-published writers to help each other promote their work, bringing more readers to every member. It was sparked by the simple fact that there are many top quality self-published authors being over-looked because they do not have the time and resources to efficiently and effectively market and promote themselves. With ambition and passion, Literary+ will take its members to the heights they deserve through a tight-knit community of like-minded writers.

So that’s L+ in a nutshell. It’s a really amazing initiative (and calling it an initiative makes me feel like I’m one of the Avengers so I’m going to do that from now on) and I’m excited to be part of it. We have weekly ‘assignments’ like flash fiction and photo contests, and we’re doing not only an anthology of short fiction, the proceeds of which will probably be donated to a charity of some sort, but we’re also doing a serial on the site itself, called Smoke and Shadows. My installment is going up on the site on September 3rd, and I think y’all will like it — it involves a Witch and a lycanthrope bartender. 

In the meantime, though, you should definitely stay tuned to the site to read everyone else’s contributions to the serial, which will be going up every Monday and Friday from here on out. The setting is urban fantasy, and the idea behind the serial is that each writer will do a short story, and they’ll all connect in weird ways. Currently the first one is up, by T. Pascal — go give it a read, why don’t you?

As well as fiction and photos, we’re doing articles, and I’ve already had one published! It’s about the wild and wacky road I’ve been on while publishing Bellica.

Since the L+ initiative started I’ve felt crazy-inspired, and a tarot reading I had on Saturday confirmed that yes, the Muses really are pumping my brain full of ideas and I should just take whatever happens and run with it. So I have been! 

I have so many ideas my head is bursting. I’m hoping to get some real work done on The Jade Star of Athering this weekend, and maybe some short fiction written too. If I do write any shorts, I will be posting some of them online to be read for freeeeee! Because I’m super nice and love you all so much that I want you to have free samples of my writing to read!

And if I ever get enough short fiction to publish a collection of short fiction then I will probably do that. Actually, I probably do have enough short fiction to do that, but eh. First things first — and first things, right now, are novels.

In other news, I will be at Nanaimo Pagan Pride on August 25th with a vendors table, selling copies of Bellica, La Chiripa, more fiction, and some poetry books. Stop by and say hello!