This Headline Started out Normal, But Then It Became Emotionally Manipulative. You’ll be blown away by the stunningly mundane content.

Just. No. STAHP.

Can we just stop with this trend already? These super annoying emotionally manipulative headlines on every little bit of content out there? Every time I see someone share one I’m about an inch away from unfriending them. Or, possibly, hitting them with a thawed salmon. (Frozen salmon could cause serious injuries; I don’t want to actually injure people, just humiliate them by hitting them with a fish.)

And it sucks, because sometimes I happen upon these things and actually see what they’re about and the content is good! I have a desire to share it! But the headline annoys me so damn much that I refuse to pass on what I’ve just witnessed. Even if it is the most mind blowing thing in the history of stuff that blows minds. (Insert dirty joke here.)

I mean, I get that our headlines have to be enticing, or people will never read the articles to which the headlines are attached. But this new trend of starting out with “This blah de blah de blah, but THEN blah de blah and your MIND will be BLOWN” and you know what, shut up headline, you don’t know me, you don’t know what’ll blow my mind. STOP TELLING ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE.

It’s terrible. Just terrible. Whoever came up with it started out with a good idea, but then it got away from them, and now everyone has to deal with mind blowingly mundane content wrapped up with annoying headlines.

STAHP, internet. STAHP.

30 in 30: Day 11 (where I talk about the Duke’s flat soda)

A book that disappointed you

The Duke’s Ballad, by Andre Norton.

It was just fucking crap is what it was. I started reading it and it seemed to be starting a bit slow, but I persevered. I was on vacation after all, and it was one of the three books I had. I wasn’t going to NOT read it on account of it starting slow.

Worst. decision. ever.

There was the point in the book, this magical point, where I realized how crap the book was and how much better off I’d be if I just lit it on fire and threw it in Lago Atitlan. This magical point was also just past the point where I couldn’t stop reading it because it would drive me crazy if I didn’t finish it.

I finished it. It was flat like old soda. The characters were flat, the story was flat, the romance was flat, the tension was flat. I felt nothing for the main character, aside a wish she would die at some point. I sort of wished for them all to die. The protagonists were vaguely good as the antagonists were vaguely bad. Wasn’t much reason for either. I think there was some magic in it at some point, but I can’t be sure because it was 5 years ago and it was fucking terrible and there’s only so much therapy can block out.

So. My recommendation? DON’T FUCKING READ IT OMG MY EYEEEEESSSS.

Just saying.

 

Oh, and by the way? The duke? WAS THE BAD GUY. The book is about how he’s not really that bad, just misunderstood, or something, and the protagonist writes him a ballad when he dies. It made no sense because there was no clear motivation for anyone’s actions. It was a giant pile of WTF.