Science-fiction Fantasy Saturday, Nov. 2nd: a bit from The Jade Star of Athering

Whoa hey I’m back. It’s been a while!

I have technically finished the first draft of Jade Star, but as revisions with this book means “add a few thousand words”, it’s still a WiP.

Spoilers for Bellica ahead.

This snippet is from Ghia’s point of view, and it’s her speaking. You’ll remember her from Bellica. I know it seems long but it actually is 10 sentences, exactly. Dialogue cheats are wonderful! Cue word is nails; the snippet contains fingernails. (The only instance of nails in the entire manuscript so far.)

Background, for context: Ghia is part Magi, part Terran. The Magi are one of the original species of the planet Zarqon, and they were a race of psychics. When one Magi, or part-Magi, dies, all the ones who still live feel it. Ghia has already felt two part-Magi deaths in her life. The closer, emotionally, the Magi are, the more the death hurts the one who still lives. Furthermore, each Magi is bound to an element — earth, air, fire, water, light/sun, dark/moons — and that is directly related to what the living Magi feel when one dies. The death of a water-bound Magi, for example, would likely feel like one was drowning.

Rosa, Ghia’s great-great-great-great-etc-grand-aunt and mentor, and an earth-bound (Corasin) Magi, has left on a mission a few days before. Ghia has just felt what she thinks is the death of a Magi, which resulted in her having a screaming fit and then fainting. She’s awake now, and is talking to her spouse about what she felt.

“I didn’t feel the earth leaving, or burying me under a mountain of grief, as I did when Molly died,” she said, almost matter-of-factly. “I should have. Instead it was…it was as if the sun had left the sky, and the world was plunged into darkness forevermore. As if Umbra had won,” she whispered, shuddering at the memory of that fight against the dark goddess. She shook her head, trying to clear it. “Even now I don’t feel as if Rosa’s totally gone, which by rights I should.” She tapped her fingernails against her teeth, thinking. Something had happened, and it had definitely involved Rosa. That was the only thing of which she was sure.

That, and that she had to tell Queen Yarrow.

Hope you enjoyed the snippet! Be sure to check out this week’s other snippets at the SFFSat blog.

9 thoughts on “Science-fiction Fantasy Saturday, Nov. 2nd: a bit from The Jade Star of Athering

  1. Peter Vialls

    Nice snippet – it has me feeling for Ghia. She knows something dreadful has happened, but is left with uncertainty as to what. No wonder she finds herself recalling a nightmare from the past.

    1. Katje van Loon

      Thanks, Peter. I kind of put Ghia through the wringer in this book so I’m glad such a short snippet garners audience sympathy for her. 🙂

  2. Lyndi Alexander

    I like this a lot. What a frightening description–I can’t imagine feeling it myself. Well done.

    1. Katje van Loon

      Thank you. Umbra frightened me when I wrote Her into the first book. She is a scary figure.

    1. Katje van Loon

      Thank you. 🙂 If there’s one thing Ghia hates…it’s being unsure of something. (I am a mean, mean writer. ;))

  3. Tara Quan

    That’s an awesome way to use imagery to describe emotion. Beautiful choice of words.

    1. Katje van Loon

      Thank you — though I should say, some of the credit goes to Ghia. Often she just tells me what to write. 😉

Comments are closed.