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Gods above I am so tired.

I have a half-written post that I want to share here on Monday the 27th (I’ve set myself a “posting schedule” here of every other Monday, and I was GOING to post Myth Mondays this week buuuuut, yeah, no) and hopefully that will happen but right now I just need to, you know. Blog.

Noodle incoherently about my life. Rant. Vent? Talk, but with text.

I’m so tired, guys.

It’s only the 16th of January, 2020. Barely two weeks into the new year and I’m ready to nap for most of it.

It’s mostly emotional drainage. It’s been an exciting and good but also bad two weeks, and my little heart is fluttering like a hummingbird having a seizure.

  • The good: I have a new job!
  • The bad: it requires moving away from my husband.
  • The good: I’ll be closer to my mom! As in, living in her house.
  • The bad: I’m supposed to go up at the end of the month, but circumstances (read: bad timing) have conspired to make her in need of my help now.
  • The good: living with mom will help me achieve my writing goals this year as well as personal goals of downsizing my things and trying to live minimally.
  • The bad: I’m really not ready to live minimally and when I first go up I have to take the bare minimum of stuff because mom doesn’t have much space for me yet. (She’s still renovating her new house.)

On it goes! This kind of emotional whiplash would be exhausting at any time, but of course it’s on top of my having a cold for almost the entire new year so far and not getting enough sleep because of it.

retro vade me, bad timing

And what about this bad timing I mention? Bad timing is the creature that has stalked our little family for as long as memory stretches back — my memory, at least — and it continues to plague our days. I wanted to leave it behind in 2019 but I guess it needs more than willpower to banish it; perhaps a knife to the heart and cremation, with ashes scattered at crossroads.

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The best Christmas gift ever

My mom always outdoes everyone else with her gifts to me. That’s fair; she’s known me longest and arguably knows me best. She always manages to get amazing presents that I absolutely adore.

This year was no exception.

We exchanged gifts on Sunday, the 5th — the second last night of Christmas, technically. My gifts to her were a huge hit, which made me happy as I didn’t have much to give her this year. Her gifts started out awesome and got steadily better.

There were a LOT of presents from her so I won’t share them all here with you, but I will share the four best gifts. (There are pics of the last two; I was going to take pictures of the others today but I was really busy and ran out of time.)

First, there were cookie cutters.

I love baking, and I don’t have any cookie cutters (apparently). I thought I did, but I discovered while burning the gingerbread cookies of doom last month that I don’t. Mom got me a set of Christmas-themed cookie cutters so I can now make Christmas cookies every year! (And when I get back; Ogre and I still have some gingerbread and sugar cookie dough we need to bake.)

Then — Crystal Head vodka with two skull-shaped glasses. This is amazing, and I don’t even care that the vodka itself doesn’t taste that great. I can now pretend I’m drinking out of the skulls of my enemies. That is the best thing ever oh my gods.

Wolves on an apron! HOW AWESOME IS THAT
Wolves on an apron! HOW AWESOME IS THAT

Third, to add to the cooking theme of the gifts, she got me an apron. Not just any apron — one custom made for me, with pockets, and designed with wolves. She has a matching one in a smaller size. I finally have an apron that actually fits! Huzzah! And wolves, guys. I love wolves.

Fourth…the pièce de résistance. This thing…holy hell. I was so excited over this gift I nearly wet myself.

A SLOW COOKER
A SLOW COOKER

That’s right. Mom got me a 6.5 QT Electric Slow Cooker. An All-Clad.

I have been jonesing for a slow cooker for ages. I want to learn to make delicious meals in it so that when Ogre and I live together he can come home and scoop dinner out of it and I don’t have to mess up my sleep schedule to make sure he eats right. Feeding my family is important to me. (And let’s face it, feeding me is important to me too.)

It comes with a recipe book that I’ve flipped through a little bit. The things in it look DELICIOUS.

I am so excited to get home and start using this thing.

How on earth did my mom manage to score this thing when we’re hurting financially? It was on sale at her local grocery store, where she had half a million points. She waited until the slow-cooker dropped in price and then went in and used all her points to snatch it up for me.

That’s right. She spent all her hard-earned points on getting me the best Christmas gift ever.

Bottom line? My mom is the best in the world.

Scratch my last

I don’t hope the CT scan shows something. Because if it does that means there’s something worse than muscle strain going on; there’s longer recovery; there’s me being weaker for a long time.

Too damn bad. I made my wish and I have to deal with the consequences.

Got my CT scan results back today. I have mild to moderate disc bulges in the three lower discs in my spine; the lumbar region. They’re not herniated, which means I’m very lucky.

But I can tell you right now — if my mom had not been with me a week ago today, if she hadn’t taken me to the hospital, if I’d gone by myself or with a friend…. The chances of me having a herniated disc in my back afterwards would be infinitely higher. I would have gone back to my house, where I probably would have slipped and fallen, and one fall could ruin my back. One fall, and I’m needing surgery and looking at never horseback riding, playing racquetball, etc etc ever again.

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