Canada, your outrage is severely misplaced

Liberal swearing ahead. Moreso than usual.

Recently our esteemed government saw fit to reward Justin Bieber with a Diamond Jubilee Medal. Canada is outraged at this.

The outrage seems to be of two camps: one, that Bieber received such an important medal. The medal is actually a large joke, but hey, Canadians are nothing if not uninformed. Two, what Bieber chose to wear when he met the Prime Minister. It seems many Canadians feel that Bieber should have respected the PM more when he met him.

Dear fellow Canadians, I would like to share two pieces of information with you. Bear with me; they may be revelatory and shocking.

1. Our PM doesn’t deserve any respect, because he’s a fucking asshole, so who the hell cares what the fuck Bieber wore? Shit, if I had to meet the PM I’d probably…ok, I’d probably refuse, because I hate him that much and am not actually sure that I’d be able to contain my hate and not beat him with a rotten salmon, or something, but if I were to meet the PM and couldn’t avoid it, I would not give two shits about my appearance. You’d see me in a bathrobe and curlers. I don’t even own curlers. I’d go and buy them just to show Harper how little respect I have for him.

and

2. If you’re going to be outraged about the “wrong people” receiving the QDJM, THIS IS THE WRONG STORY BY WHICH TO SET YOUR SIGHTS.

I have heard more outrage over Bieber getting a QDJM than over the anti-abortion fucknozzles receiving QDJMs. There are so many things wrong with that, I don’t even know where to fucking begin.

Canada, you are still drunk. Goddammit give me your keys.

Canada, you are drunk. Give me your keys.

From the “Oh Gods, Canada, Stop Failing At Everything” files.

The Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal, or the QDJM, has been given to women who are in jail for injunctions at abortion clinics. These people are anti-choicers, and they get a medal.

From the article (bolding mine):

“Unlike the justice minister, Vellacott was unable to award these medals to the victims of crime, because these baby victims are dead, so instead the award to those ‘heroines of humanity’ Mary Wagner and Linda Gibbons who are trying to protect defenceless, voiceless human beings in the womb from butchery and death, and trying to let vulnerable women know that there are other options and support and adoption possibilities,” Vellacott said in his statement. “It’s what you would expect in a caring compassionate society.”

Vellacott continued, “It’s a pretty upside down world when we honour abortionists like Henry Morgentaler for killing over 5,000 babies and imprison precious women, like Mary Wagner and Linda Gibbons, who try to save babies from such savagery. They are the real heroes of humanity!”

Excuse me while I vomit. Caring and compassion are, apparently, not for the uterus-bearing people who have to deal with the business of getting pregnant. Caring and compassion are reserved for collections of cells living parasitically in our bodies. Or for people who believe we shouldn’t be given a choice.

Of course, the QDJM is largely a joke anyway. The people who get it don’t deserve it, and the people who deserve it are turned down. All in the name of honoring the Queen — well, tell me, Your Majesty, how do you feel about your medal being given to people who don’t believe you should have control over your own body? I think, were I in your position, I’d be pretty mad.

At this point I think the Conservative Party should win Canada’s Worst Driver. Forever. They are driving drunk and running this country into the ground and various trees.