dispatches from the loony bin

WiP Playlists: Anala

This summer I started work on Anala, third book in The Bellica Trilogy. As with all my other projects, I created a playlist to help inspire me while writing it.

As I don’t really know how to create a listenable playlist for you all online yet, I figured I’d just post the list of songs.

No true spoilers, but seeing the list might give you some good ideas about plot points. OR totally out of left field fan theories. I won’t tell you which is which. 😉

By the way, while the songs are listed in a numbered list, I don’t play them in order. I hit shuffle every time. And the order they’re listed here is random. I just thought numbers would look neater than bullet points.

The Songs

Freiflug, Megaherz
Banshee, Methodic Doubt (this is the opening credits song for the TV show of the same name)
The Sharpest Lives, My Chemical Romance
Not An Addict, K’s Choice
In The House – In A Heartbeat, 28 Days Later Soundtrack
One Last Time, Veruca Salt
The Ghost of You, My Chemical Romance
She’s A Maniac, Michael Sembello
Tango De Los Exilados, Vanessa Mae
Rinse, Vanessa Carlton
Eden (Hooverphonic Enigma Remix), Sarah Brightman
Dig Ophelia, Rasputina
Here With Me, Sarah Brightman
The Show Must Go On, Queen
Conspiracy, Paramore
Estasi Dell Anima, David Sardy (Zombieland Soundtrack)
Easy As Life, Original Broadway Cast of Aida
Waltz for the Moon, Nobuo Uematsu, Final Fantasy VIII OST
Monster, Lady Gaga
My December, Linkin Park
Starting Up, Nobuo Uematsu, Final Fantasy VIII OST
Lithium, Evanescence
Toxic, Britney Spears
So Happy I Could Die, Lady Gaga
Lose Control, Evanescence
The Point of No Return, Phantom of the Opera (film soundtrack)
Nothing Else Matters, Apocalyptica (Metallica cover)
Weight of the World, Evanescence
Rev 22:20, Puscifer
Snow White Queen, Evanescence
I Don’t Care, Apocalyptica
All That I’m Living For, Evanescence

I might add more songs later, as work on the book is ongoing and 2 hours, 8 minutes worth of music might not be enough.

-Katje

Rewolfing the Soul paperback now available for preorder!

Yes, that’s right! Rewolfing the Soul is now available for preorder!

I am SO EXCITED to release this book. I think the poetry in it is some of my best work. And I know, I haven’t been sharing as much as I’d like to Instagram and certainly not to here on this blog, but I have been writing a ton.

So much writing, y’all.

And now it’s almost done. Yep, I have a few more poems to pen/put the finishing touches on, but the manuscript is basically finished…and I got really excited about it and created a preorder page for the paperback.

Rewolfing the Soul is a collection of Millennial poetry. Poetry that speaks to the experience of being a Millennial: trapped in a soul-crushing system that will slowly grind you to dust, and dreaming of a day you can be as wild and free as the last wolves on our planet.

Yep, Millennials are killing poetry now. We’re unstoppable murderers.

Anyway, if Millennials killing poetry seems like it’s up your alley, here are some pre-order details:

Format: trade paperback, printed in Canada.
Shipping: to residents of the US and Canada. Flat rate 5 dollars.
Sold through: Gumroad! Great platform for indie creators.
Price: 20 dollars Canadian.
Perks: comes signed, and with a free “Rewolf Your Soul” sticker.
Print run: 50 copies.

But wait! There’s more!

I would LOVE to do free shipping, but I live in Canada, and am beholden to the whims of the cruel and capricious god Canada Post. However, people who pledge at my Patreon WILL get a discount on the book that will basically amount to free shipping…and if you pledge before July 30th (NINE DAYS FROM NOW, WHAT), you’ll get your name in the book too.

Let me repeat that: I will be thanking Patrons from my Patreon on a special page in the book. Pledge before July 30th at a dollar a month or more, and you’ll be part of that.

(Why the deadline? Book production! I need files finalized well before the publish date. 2 weeks is honestly pushing it, but it’s my own fault for being so behind on things.)

Speaking of being behind…I started writing this post on Saturday the 20th and now it’s Sunday the 21st. I guess I should finish up and post it, eh?

The preorder info is below the cut (along with some pre-written tweets if you want to help spread the word). It goes through Gumroad so don’t worry about the fact that my site is not (yet) https — Gumroad is secure. Your info will be safe.

2019 Micropoems, January through March

I’ve been posting micropoems on Instagram, Ello, Patreon and Pinterest this year. I did have a thing set up where they would instantly cross-post here, too, but it broke a lot of the time and just didn’t work the way I wanted.

So I figured I’d gather up the posts from the last 3 months and put them in one post. And then I’ll do that again in a little while when I have more posted.

Side note, all these poems are going into a book called Rewolfing the Soul. I’ll be working on that for April Camp Nanowrimo. More details about that — including a cover and release date — later.

This post is picture-heavy, so I’ve put the images behind a cut. The poems are more or less in chronological order; one or two may be switched around because I didn’t double check the order I posted them before making this post.

-Katje

micropoem: sunset

“let me sink into the lake,

fold myself into the sunset,

become nothing

and everything

all at once.

let me flee this adult life

before it finishes devouring

what’s left of my soul.”⠀
.⠀
via Instagram http://bit.ly/2Rini81

Welcome 2019: Goals and Thoughts

To start: I’m not totally sold on this new WordPress editor. I know when it came out people were PISSED about it, and honestly, I can see why. On the other hand, it has some cool features. ~~What I’m really not pleased about is the apparent disappearance of the word count function — or maybe it’s somewhere here and I just can’t find it yet.~~ EDIT: I found it. It’s…yeah, okay, I don’t like where it is now. You have to click a button to see it instead of it just being at the base of your editing window.

To continue: Happy New Year! I hope you had a great New Year’s Eve and Day and that you stayed safe and warm. On New Year’s Eve I went and got a CT scan, which was a terrifying experience as I’m claustrophobic. However, it will hopefully show if my spinal injury has deteriorated or not. (OK, seriously WordPress? You fucked up adding links? Jesus.)

Anyway, as I’ve thrown out my back three times in the past year, I think it’s time to see what’s going on back there and possibly get a referral to a neurologist. I was super lucky to get a CT scan before the end of the year, and going in and getting it was actually very fast. So I’m not displeased.

2019 is the year of feeling less crappy. #spoonielife Click To Tweet

I have decided that 2019 is going to be the year I get my health back. Or, more accurately, the year I stop feeling like 100% crap all the damn time. Living with a spinal injury and acid reflux and all manner of chronic crap as well as mental illness means that I basically always feel like shit, and I’m tired of it, because there are small interventions I can do to lessen that feeling like shit thing.

2019 is also the year of better communication and finishing up projects! It’s the last year in this decade, the 2010s, so I want to get some stuff DONE, you know? I also want to communicate better — by which I mean, actually send out newsletters on a regular basis and blog more. Also maybe get a keyboard that can keep up with me so I’m not having to correct for missing letters every FIVE SECONDS, LAPTOP, I’M TALKING TO YOU.

So anyway, I’ve got some goals. Some writing goals. (I have other goals too but maybe one set of goals per post, or this will be waaaay too long.)

Just finished my 4th novel, nbd.

One of my goals for 2018 was to finish #FromTheAshes, book 2 in #TheBorderlandsSaga. Well, last night, I did just that. Talk about getting it in at the last second! I am SO HAPPY it’s done, and so excited to revise it while I’m writing book 3, #TheMoonrunner. I’m hopeful book 3 is a faster write than book 2 was, haha. Here’s to 2019 being the year I get both these books out! #writersofinstagram #authorsofinstagram #amwriting #amwritingfantasy #fb #instaloon #lesbianwerewolvesinspace via Instagram http://bit.ly/2SwEq6j

2018 End of Year Reflection

This month I realized I hadn’t posted here since July, and didn’t want to end 2018 on that note. So, an EOY reflection…and I would say an explanation of where I’ve been, but if you’ve been reading this blog for any period of time you know I tend to drop off the face of the earth for long periods.

I try not to do this, and I am working on it. But I think I also need to admit that perhaps my regular schedule is flurries of activity followed by periods of silence.

Katje and the Complete Lack of Executive Function

I did say I’d get that Gwyn ap Nudd piece up this week, didn’t I?

Well, I wasn’t lying, but apparently my brain has had other ideas. I’ve completely lacked in executive function this week. Or more accurately, I have been plagued by executive dysfunction.

What does that mean?

Executive dysfunction is often dubbed “laziness” by people who don’t understand it, but it’s not laziness at all. I have executive dysfunction *and* I can be a very lazy person, so I know how to tell the difference. (Though often my brain likes to berate me for my laziness even when I know full well it’s executive dysfunction — because ill brains like to attack themselves. It is known.)

Laziness is “I should get up and clean the living room, but I don’t want to, so I’m going to watch Doctor Who instead and enjoy it.”

Executive dysfunction is “I really want to get the living room clean, and finish that blog post, and work on my novel, and do some publishing work, and do a load of laundry so I can have clean clothing, but I can’t. I’m sitting here unable to even get up to think about those things. I’m telling myself to get up, but I can’t. So I’ve put on Doctor Who but I’m not even really watching it; I’m staring at the TV screen and wondering why I’m so fucking broken.”

I have been in both these places. The second one is what I’m stuck in right now. I have been *trying* to force myself to get things done, to work past the executive dysfunction, and mostly I have been failing. I’ve also been trying to not be hard on myself, but the truth is that a lot of my responsibilities don’t really give a shit if my broken brain is acting up and making it near-impossible to get done the things I need to get done — they still need to get done and I’m the one who has to do them. So not beating myself up over it is easier said than done.

Even on good days I struggle with executive dysfunction. The stuff you see from me in public? The posts of chapters to Wattpad, updates on my Patreon, my weekly newsletters? Those things take inordinate amounts of energy even during good phases. (Not even getting into the stuff you *don’t* see from me in public. So much background work goes into indie author life.) This is not a good phase.

Honestly I don’t know how I’m writing this post right now. I managed to make myself sit down and start it, and I’m not going to get up until it’s done, because otherwise? It will languish on my hard drive for the rest of time. And I should post it, so you know what’s happened to Mythology Mondays.

They’re not on hiatus. I’m working on Gwyn’s post. It just might be…a week later than its first postponement. Gods, I hope. I hope I can get it up by Monday.

So, let’s say Monday the 23rd, Gwyn ap Nudd, then back to the every other Monday schedule, which puts Borvo on August 6th. Let’s say it, and then maybe it’ll make itself true!

It’s 5 am, so I’m going to go to sleep now, and hopefully tomorrow I will get more than a grand total of 2 things done.

Loonily,
Katje of the Broken Brain

Postponing this instalment of Mythology Mondays

I’m sorry, but I need to postpone today’s Mythology Mondays post. (Gwyn ap Nudd was the winner, by the way!) It’s not ready, and I’ve been under the weather for the past week or so. I need a bit more time to put it together and instead of rushing and trying to finish it today (and having the work suffer, as well as my health), I’m just going to put it off till next Monday.

WHICH MEANS there will be a new post on Monday the 16th AND on Monday the 23rd — I don’t want to get off schedule, so I’m going to do two weeks in a row.

Soooo I need your votes! Voting usually would close at midnight on Monday, but as the Gwyn ap Nudd post will be up that day, I’m extending the poll length to Tuesday, the 17th. Let me know who you want to read about on the 23rd. (Also, I’m changing up the poll this time ’round and allowing two choices per voter.)

Thanks for understanding, everyone. I’ll see you on Monday!

-Katje

Manannán: god of endless bacon

This week we are talking about another one of my fave gods.

Manannán Mac Lir is the Irish god of rain, mist, the sea, and the Otherworld.

He first came into my life several years ago, and he’s been a huge part of it since. I’m going to try to talk about him a bit more neutrally in this post than I usually do at my religious blogs, but it’ll be hard, because I really love this dude.

Ok, so. Manannán.

Manannán is a psychopomp god — that means he’s a guardian deity between the realms of life and death. A word that can be used to describe this type of deity is “liminal” — it means “of or pertaining to a threshold,” from the Latin limen.

You can see this liminality in the things associated with him. Mist, of course, is very much associated with the idea of things being “in-between” — but so is rain, being a common weather pattern with both fall and spring, the seasons in between the extremes of winter and summer. (Mind you, depending on where you live, your rainy times of year might last a loooooot longer than seems normal. *Glances at both Ireland and BC*)

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